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Abandoned as a stage after closing night
Alone as the only star in a city sky
As tough as nails
As unstable as the wind
As active as quicksilver
As afraid as grasshopper
As ageless as the sun
As agile as a cat
As agile as a monkey
As alert as a chamois
As alike as two peas in a pod
As alone as a leper
As ambitious as the devil
As ancient as the sun
As angry as a bull
As angry as a hornet
As angry as a wasp
As annoying as nails scratching against a chalkboard
As arid as the sands of Sahara
As artificial as made ice
As audacious as the day
As awful as justice
As awkward as a cow on ice
As bald as a baby's backside
As bald as a badger
As bald as a coot
As bald as an egg
As barren as winter rain
As bashful as a schoolgirl
As beautiful as a bride
As beautiful as nature
As beautiful as the rainbow
As bent as a nine-bob note
As big as a boat
As big as a bus
As big as an elephant
As bitter as gall
As bitter as hemlock
As bitter as warmwood
As black as a sweep
As black as coal
As black as ebony
As black as ink
As black as pitch
As black as the rain
As blameless as the snow
As blank as an empty bottle
As blind as a bat
As blind as a mole
As blind as an ear.
As blithe as May
As blue as the rivers of amman
As blunt as a hammer
As bold as brass
As boundless as the ocean
As bounteous as nature
As brainless as champanzee
As brave as a knight
As brave as a lion
As brave as Achilles
As brave as bear
As brief as dream
As brief as time
As bright as a button
As bright as a day
As bright as a new penny
As bright as a new pin
As bright as the sun
As brilliant as a mirror
As brisk as a flea
As brittle as glass
As broad as heaven's expanse
As brown as a berry
As brown as bun
As buoyant as wings
As busy as a beaver
As busy as a bee
As busy as a cat on a hot tin roof
As calm as a millpond
As calm as a summer sea
As candid as mirrors
As careless as the wind
As cautious as a fox
As certain as the rising of morning sun
As changeable as the moons
As changing as the sea
As chaste as Minerva
As cheap as chips
As cheap as dirt
As cheap as lies
As cheeky as young bantam cock
As cheerful as the birds
As cheerless as grave
As cheery as sunbeam
As chill as death
As chirpy as a cricket
As chubby as a cherub
As clammy as death
As clean as a Dutch oven
As clean as a hound's tooth
As clean as a whistle
As clear as a bell
As clear as a diamond
As clear as crystal
As clear as daylight
As clear as ice
As clear as mud
As clear as the heavens above
As clever as a cartload of monkeys
As clever as monkey
As clever as paint
As clumsy as a bear
As coarse as hemp
As cold as dog's nose
As cold as ice
As comfortable as coin
As common as dirt
As common as pins
As complacent as a cat
As complicated as the relationship of a married couple
As confident as Hercules
As conscientious as dog
As consoling as night
As constant as the sun
As contagious as a yawn
As contrary as black and white
As convincing as the multiplication table
As cool as a cucumber
As costly as an election
As cosy as the nest of bird
As countless as the stars
As cowardly as wild duck
As crafty as a fox
As crazy as a loon
As credulous as a child
As crisp as new bank notes
As crooked as a corkscrew
As cruel as media
As cunning as a fox
As cunning as a rat with a gold tooth
As curious as fish
As cute as a baby
As cute as a bug's ear
As cute as a button
As damp as the salty blue ocean
As dangerous as machine-guns
As dark as dungeon
As dead as the dodo
As deaf as a post
As deceptive as the mirage of the deserts
As deep as despair
As deep as hell
As deep as the ocean
As deep as the sea
As dejected as a wet hen
As delicate as a flower
As delicate as fine China
As delicious as forbidden fruit
As dense as a brick
As desolate as a tomb
As devoted as a faithful dog
As different as chalk from cheese
As different as earth and sky
As different as night and day
As difficult as a Greek puzzle
As dirty as a hog
As dirty as goodwill underwear
As disappointing as wet gunpowder
As dismal as a hearse
As distant as the horizon
As dizzy as a goose
As docile as a lamb
As dreadful as a gathering storm
As dreary as a Victorian novel
As dreary as an Asian steppe
As drunk as a beggar
As drunk as a lord
As drunk as a skunk
As drunk as a top
As drunk as fish
As dry as a bone
As dry as a popcorn fart
As dry as dust
As dull as dishwater
As dumb as a box of rocks
As dumb as an oyster
As dumb as dirt
As eager as a bridegroom
As easy as ABC
As easy as apple-pie
As easy as falling off a log
As easy as pie
As easy as shelling peas
As elastic as a caterpillar
As eloquent as cicoro
As elusive as quicksilver
As empty as a starving man's stomach
As empty as an idiot's mind
As entertaining as football on a winter day
As enticing as a riddle
As essential as the dew
As excited as a blind lesbian in a fish shop
As expensive as glory
As fabulous as aladdin's ring
As faint as the hum of distant bees
As fair as Eve in Paradise
As fair as the morn
As faithful as the sun
As faithless as fair weather
As false as dice
As familiar as an oath
As far apart as the poles
As fast as a racecar
As fast as light
As fat as a cow
As fat as a distillery pig
As fat as a fool
As fat as a hippo
As fat as a pig
As fat as porpoise
As feathery as a chicken
As fickle as friends
As fidgety as an old maid
As fierce as a famished wolf
As fierce as a tiger
As firm as faith
As fit as a butcher's dog
As fit as a fiddle
As fixed as fate
As flabby as a sponge
As flat as a pancake
As fleet as greyhound
As flimsy as guaze
As foolish as a calf
As foul as slander
As frail as lilly
As free as a bird
As free as a breeze
As free as the wind
As fresh as a daisy
As fresh as a rose
As fresh as paint
As friendless as an alarm clock
As friendly as a puppy
As frightened as Macbeth before the ghost of Banquo
As frigid as an iceberg
As frisky as colts
As frisky as lamb
As frizzled as a lawyer's wig
As fruitful as Egypt
As full as a fat lady's socks
As full as an egg is of meat
As funny as a balloon
As funny as a crutch
As funny as a fart in an elevator
As game as fighting cock
As garrulous as a magpie
As gaudy as a butterfly
As gay as bullfinch
As generous as a dream
As genial as sunshine
As gentle as a fawn
As gentle as a lamb
As glad as a fly
As glib as glass
As gloomy as night
As glorious as the sun
As glossy as a mole
As glum as an oyster
As gluttonous as curiosity
As good as gold
As good as one's word
As gorgeous as a sultana
As graceful as a cat
As graceful as a fawn
As graceful as a gazelle
As graceful as a swan
As gracious as a duchess
As gracious as the morn
As grand as a victory
As grave as a judge
As greasy as a raccoon that's been dipped in raccoon grease
As great as a lord
As great as the world
As greedy as a hog
As green as a grass
As grey as mountain rock
As grey as smoke
As grim as death
As grim as hell
As haggard as spectres
As hairless as an egg
As hairy as a mastodon
As hairy as an ape
As handsome as paint
As happy as a clam
As happy as a clown
As happy as a dog with a bone
As happy as a lark
As happy as a pig in shit
As happy as a rat with a gold tooth
As happy as a sandboy
As happy as Larry
As happy as the day is long
As hard as flint
As hard as nails
As hard as stone
As harmless as a baby
As harsh as truth
As haughty as the devil
As healthy as a May morning
As hearty as an oak
As heavy as lead
As helpless as a baby
As hideous as the witch of endor
As high as a heaven
As high as a kite
As high as the sky
As high as the stars
As hoarse as a crow
As hoarse as a raven
As hollow as a drum
As honest as a mirror
As hopeful as the break of day
As horny as a camel's knee
As horny as a Roman sandal
As horrid as a murder's dream
As hot as an oven
As hot as blazes
As hot as fire
As hot as hell
As huge as high Olympus
As humble as aworm
As hungry as a bear
As hungry as a horse
As hungry as a wolf
As hushed as midnight
As ignorant as a child
As illimitable as the boundless sea
As illusive as a dream
As immaculate as an angel
As immense as the sea
As immortal as the stars
As immutable as the laws of the Medes and the Persians
As impatient as a lover
As imperishable as eternity
As impetuous as a poet
As inconstant as the moon
As indolent as an old bachelor
As industrious as an ant
As inevitable as death
As inexhaustible as the deep sea
As inexorable as the grave
As inflexible as a granite rock
As innocent as a lamb
As invisible as the air
As jealous as a Spaniard
As jolly as a shoe brush
As joyful as a fly
As joyous as a fly
As jubilant as old sleigh bells
As keen as a razor
As keen as mustard
As killing as a plague
As kind as consent
As knowing as the stars
As lame as a duck
As languid as love-sick maid
As large as life
As lasting as the pyramids
As lawless as the stormy wind
As lax as cut string
As lazy as a hog
As lazy as a toad
As lean as sancho's ass
As level as a pond
As liberal as the sun
As lifeless as the grave
As light as a feather
As light as air
As light as down
As likely as not
As lithe as a panther
As little as Tom thumb
As lively as cricket
As loathsome as a toad
As lonely as a cloud
As lonely as a deserted ship
As long as your arm
As loquacious as Polonius
As loud as horn
As loud as thunder
As lovely as Venus
As low as the grave
As lowly as a slave
As lowly as a worm
As loyal as a dove
As mad as a hatter
As mad as a hornet
As mad as a sleeping bag full of badgers
As mad as box of frogs
As mad as the March hare
As magnanimous as agamemonon
As malicious as Satan
As mean as a bully
As mean as a miser
As meek as a dove
As meek as a lamb
As meek as a mouse
As merciless as ambition
As merciless as Othello
As merciless as the grave
As merry as a cricket
As merry as a grig
As merry as a lark
As merry as spring
As mild as a dove
As mischievous as a kitten
As mobile as humanity
As modest as a maiden
As monotonous as the sea
As moody as a girl on her period
As motionless as a corpse
As mournful as the grave
As much use as a yard of pump water
As muddy as sheep dogs
As mum as an oyster
As mute as tomb
As mysterious as an echo
As naked as a jaybird
As naked as a peeled apple
As naked as newborn baby
As natural as life
As nearsighted as a mole
As neat as a nail
As neat as a pin
As needful as the sun
As nervous as a mouse
As new as day
As nice as ninepence
As nimble as a lizard
As noiseless as a shadow
As noisy as a menagerie
As numerous as the sand upon the ocean shore
As nutty as a fruitcake
As obedient as a puppet
As obnoxious as an alligator
As obstinate as a mule
As obstinate as a pig
As old as creation
As old as Methuselah
As old as the hills
As opaque as the sky
As open as a smile
As opposite as the poles
As pale as banquo's ghost
As pale as death
As pale as ghost
As passionate as young love
As patient as hours
As patient as Job
As peaceful as sleep
As persistent as mosquito
As phony as a three-dollar bill
As piercing as light
As pissed as a newt
As placid as duck-pond
As plain as a pickestaff
As plain as day
As plain as pikestaff
As plain as the nose on your face
As playful as a rabbit
As playful as kittens
As pleasant as health
As pleased as punch
As plentiful as blackberries
As poor as a church mouse
As poor as dirt
As populous as an ant hill
As positive as Scotsman
As powerful as a lion
As powerful as death
As powerless as an infant
As pretty as a picture
As progressive as time
As proud as a peacock
As proud as Lucifer
As proud as punch
As puffy as a cloud
As punctual as springtime
As pure as a lily
As pure as faith
As pure as the driven snow
As quarrelsome as the weasel
As queer as a clockwork orange?
As quick as a flash
As quick as a wink
As quick as lightning
As quick as silver
As quick as thought
As quiet and long as a year on Pluto
As quiet as a cat
As quiet as a library for church mice
As quiet as a mouse
As ragged as Lazarus
As rapid as lightning
As rare as a comet
As rare as a blue rose
As rare as a fat postman
As rare as hen's teeth
As rare as rocking horse shit
As ravenous as a winter wolf
As real as the stars
As rebellious as the sea
As red as a beet
As red as a monkey's arse
As red as a poppy
As red as blood
As red as cherry
As regal as Juno
As regular as sunrise
As relentless as fate
As reliable as a Greek accountant
As remote as a dream
As restless as ambition
As restless as the sea
As rich as croele
As rich as Croesus
As right as rain
As rosy as a bride
As rosy as the morn
As rotten as dirt
As rough as a boar's rear-end
As rough as a storm
As rough as hemp
As round as a barrel
As round as a circle
As round as a sphere
As round as the o of Giotto
As rude as a bear
As rugged as a rhinoceros
As ruthless as the sea
As sacred as a shrine
As sad as doom
As sad as night
As safe as a blackhouse
As safe as a house
As safe as a sardine
As safe as a tortoise under its shell
As salty as a sea sponge
As saucy as the wave
As scarce as feathers on a fish
As secret as thought
As secure as the grave
As seedy as a raspberry
As selfish as a fox
As senseless as stones
As sensitive as a flower
As serene as the sea
As serious as a doctor
As serious as an owl
As serious as your life
As shallow as a pan
As shameful as a sin
As shameless as a rude statue
As shapeless as an old shoe
As sharp as a bowling ball
As sharp as a knife
As sharp as a needle
As sharp as a razor
As sharp as a tack
As sharp as a thistle
As short as any dream
As short as the life of a wave
As shy as the fawn
As shy as the squirrel
As sick as a dog
As sick as a parrot
As silent as a feather in the wind
As silent as a stone
As silent as the dead
As silent as the grave
As silent as thought
As silly as a goose
As silly as calves
As simple as a child
As simple as ABC
As sincere as sunlight
As sleek as a mouse
As sleepless as owls
As sleepy as a koala
As slimy as a snail trail
As slippery as a serpent
As slippery as a soap in a men's prison
As slippery as an eel
As slippery as ice
As slow as a snail
As slow as a snail's funeral
As slow as a tortoise
As slow as a turtle
As slow as a wet weekend
As slow as a worm with a hangover
As slow as molasses
As small as atoms
As smart as a whip
As smart as an owl
As smart as paint
As smart as sixpence
As smooth as ice
As smooth as silk
As snug as a bug in a rug
As sober as a judge
As soft as a baby's bottom
As soft as fur
As soft as silk
As soft as velvet
As soft as wool
As solid as bricks
As solid as the ground we stand on
As solitary as a tomb
As soothing as the breath of spring
As sound as a bell
As sour as lemon
As sour as lime
As sour as vinegar
As spacious as the element
As speechless as a stone
As spineless as a jelly fish
As spiteful as the monkey
As spotless as lilies
As spotless as snow
As spruce as an onion
As stale as old beer
As stately as an oak
As steadfast as the sun
As steady as a rock
As stealthy as a cat
As stern as a judge
As sticky as a fly trap
As sticky as jam
As stiff as a board
As stiff as a frozen fish
As stiff as a ramrod
As stiff as a stone
As still as a log
As still as a statue
As still as death
As stink as a carrion
As stink as a polecat
As straight as a candle
As straight as a die
As straight as a lance
As straight as an arrow
As strange as a vision
As strong as a bull
As strong as an ox
As strong as brandy
As strong as Hercules
As strong as Samson
As stubborn as a mule
As stupid as a sloth
As sturdy as an oak
As stylish as a taxman's trousers
As subtle as a fart in the bath
As subtle as a flying mallet
As subtle as serpent
As sudden as a snap
As sudden as lighting
As sulky as a bear
As superfluous as a fifth wheel
As superstitious as sallors
As supple as a snake
As sure as a gun
As sure as death and taxes
As sure as sunrise death
As sure as you're born
As surefooted as a mountain goat
As suspicious as a cat
As sweet as a candy
As sweet as a rose
As sweet as honey
As sweet as pie
As sweet as sugar
As swift as a deer
As swift as a flash
As swift as an arrow
As swift as lightning
As swift as thought
As tall as a giraffe
As tall as a steeple
As tall as a tree
As tame as a sheep
As taut as a fiddle string
As tedious as guilty conscience
As tender as a bud
As terrible as Jove
As thick as a brick
As thick as ants
As thick as fleas on a farm dog
As thick as London fog
As thick as thieves
As thick as tree trunks
As thick as two short planks
As thin as a rake
As thin as a wafer
As thin as toothpick
As thirsty as a sponge
As thoughtless as a lark
As tidy as a candy shop
As tight as a drum
As tight as a duck's arse
As tight as teeth
As timid as a mouse
As timid as a rabbit
As tiny as a grain of sand
As tired as tombstones
As tough as leather
As tough as old boots
As trackless as the sea
As transient as lightning
As transparent as glass
As treacherous as the memory
As tricky as a box of monkeys
As tricky as an ape
As trivial as a parrot's prate
As troublesome as a monkey
As true as the gospel
As truthful as a knight of old
As tuneless as a bag of wool
As ugly as a scarecrow
As ugly as sin
As unapproachable as a star
As unattractive as a gargoyle
As uncertain as the weather
As unchangeable as the past
As unclean as sin
As uncomplaining as a lamb
As uncompromising as justice
As unconquerable as chewing gum
As uncontrollable as the wave
As unfeeling as rocks
As unhappy as king Lear
As universal as sea sickness
As unmerciful as the billows
As unprofitable as smoke
As unreal as a dream
As unsteady as the ocean
As unusual as a sailor on horseback
As upright as a tower
As useful as a chocolate fireguard
As useful as a chocolate teapot
As useful as a cow
As useful as a lead balloon
As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike
As useful as an assassin with squeaky shoes
As useful as concrete slippers in a swimming pool
As useless as a broken condom
As useless as tits on a bull
As vague as a shadow
As vague as futurity
As vain as a peacock
As variable as the weather
As various as the weather
As vast as eternity
As venomous as a snake
As vicious as a doberman pincher attacking a cat
As vigilant as the stars
As vigorous as fire
As violent as steam
As virtuous as holy truth
As voiceless as the tomb
As voracious as a camel
As vulgar as money
As wan as moonlight
As warlike as the wolf
As warm as sunbeams
As warm as toast
As warm as wool
As wary as a fox
As wasteful as a hen
As watchful as a sentinel
As wavering as Hamlet
As weak as a kitten
As weak as a reed
As weak as water
As welcome as a bacon sandwich at a bar Mitzvah
As welcome as a rainstorm in hell
As welcome as a skunk at a garden party
As welcome as a star
As welcome as dew on parched flowers
As welcome as the flowers in May
As well-equipped as a pair of monk's underpants
As wet as a drowned rat
As wet as a fish
As white as a ghost
As white as a lily
As white as fleece
As white as ivory
As white as porcelain
As white as snow
As wide as hope
As wily as a fox
As wise as an owl
As wise as Solomon
As witless as jackdaw
As yellow as jaundice
As yellow as saffron
As yellow as sulphur
As young as dawn
As young as morn
As youthful as the month of May
As zigzag as lightning
Avoid like the plague
Awkward as a first date in an IKEA
Baffled as a cat watching a computer screen
Balanced as a one-legged elephant
Bashful as a groom at the altar
Beaming as a Nobel laureate
Beautiful as a sunrise over still water
Besotted as a grandmother with her first grandchild
Bewildered as a dog at a magic show
Bitter as a double espresso without sugar
Blushing as a schoolgirl at her first dance
Boastful as a cockerel at dawn
Bold as a barnyard rooster
Bold as a tourist ordering the hottest curry
Bored as a goldfish in a round bowl
Bored as a sentry at an empty gate
Bored as a student in a Monday morning lecture
Brave as a firefighter rushing into a burning building
Breathtaking as the view from a mountain top
Breed like rabbits
Bright as a summer day in the Canaries
Built like a brick shithouse
Busy as a one-armed wallpaper hanger
Buzzing as a beehive in summer
Calm as the sea before a storm
Charming as a rogue with a dog
Chatty as a radio left on
Cheesy as a dad joke at a funeral
Chuffed as a dog with two tails
Close as wax
Cold as a forgotten pizza in the fridge
Cold as a wagon tire
Colder than a witch's tit
Confused as a chameleon on a kaleidoscope
Confused as a fart in a fan factory
Confused as a tourist without a map
Consistent as a man who always orders the same meal
Courageous as a soldier on the frontline
Crazy as a bag full of wet cats
Cry like a baby
Cry like a little girl
Cut like a knife
Daft as a brush
Daring as a stuntman on opening day
Dauntless as a cat facing a dog
Dazed as a boxer after the twelfth round
Dead as a dodo app
Dead as a doorknob
Dead as a doornail
Deaf as a doorpost
Demure as a nun at Sunday service
Deserted as a seaside promenade in January
Devoted as a swan to its mate
Disoriented as a sailor in a fog bank
Dog-tired as a shepherd after a long drive
Done in as a farmhand at harvest time
Drained as a phone battery at the end of the day
Dramatic as a cat knocked off a shelf
Drink like a fish
Drop like flies
Drunk as Chloe
Dry as a bull's bum going up a hill backwards
Dry as a dead dingo's donger
Dry as a rice cracker
Dull as a dentist's waiting room
Dumb as a bag of hammers
Eager as a racer at the starting line
Eat like a bird
Eat like a horse
Eat like a pig
Electric as a stage before a rock show
Elegant as a swan on a still lake
Excited as a kid on Christmas morning
Excited as a puppy at dinner time
Exciting as a terms and conditions update
Exhausted as a new parent at 4 a.m.
Exquisite as handblown glass
Face like a stuntman's knee
Fatigued as a night-shift nurse
Fearless as a tightrope walker
Fine as frog hair
Fit as a flea
Fit as a lop
Fit like a glove
Flat as a drained battery at 1%
Flat as a plate of piss
Flat as a puncture in a heatwave
Flatter than a witch's tit
Float like a butterfly
Flopping like a fish on a line
Flummoxed as a grammar student at silent letters
Fly like a bird
Fly like a rock
Fold like a lawn chair
Folded like a cheap suit
Forlorn as a forgotten umbrella at a bus stop
Fresh as rain on dry ground
Frozen like a crashed app
Fuck like rabbits
Full as a goog
Get on like a house on fire
Giddy as a bride on her wedding day
Glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze
Glowing as a trophy on the mantelpiece
Go down like a lead balloon
Gorgeous as a summer evening in Tuscany
Grey as a Monday in November
Grin like a cheshire cat
Grow like Topsy
Grumpy as a bear with a sore head
Guilty as sin
Gutsy as a goalkeeper facing a penalty
Happy as a dog with two tails
Happy as pigs in mud
Hateful as a toad
Have a mind like a sieve
Head over heels as a gymnast on a balance beam
Hobble like an off-balance giraffe
Hot as a jalapeno eaten by mistake
Hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire
Hung like a donkey
Hung like a horse
In love as a pair of teenage newlyweds
Inseparable as an old married couple
Intrepid as an Antarctic explorer
Introverted as a librarian's favourite book
Isolated as a ship becalmed at sea
Keyed up as a violin before a performance
Kick like a mule
Knackered as a marathon runner at mile twenty-six
Laid-back as a cat in a sunbeam
Laugh like a drain
Laugh like a hyena
Lie like a rug
Lifeless as a dead battery
Like music to my ears
Limber as a dishrag
Listless as a kite with no wind
Lonely as a lighthouse in a storm
Lonely as the last leaf on an autumn tree
Lonesome as a whippoorwill at midnight
Look like the back end of a bus
Looser than a yoga master on valium
Lost as a commuter on the wrong train
Lost as a tourist without Google maps
Lost as someone with no signal
Loud as a cow pissing on a flat rock
Loud as a fart in a library
Loud as autocorrect getting it wrong
Lovely as a wildflower meadow in June
Lovestruck as Romeo at the balcony
Mad as a cut snake
Memory like a sieve
Modest as a vicar's tea party
Monotonous as a metronome
More ornery than a rattlesnake with hives
Muddled as a morning after a long night
Mushy as a Hallmark card
Nervous as a cat
Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs
Nosy as a neighbour with net curtains
On your toes like a midget at a urinal
Opinionated as a food critic at a chip shop
Organised as a spice rack nobody alphabetised
Out like a light
Outdated as internet explorer
Overcooked as a steak ordered by someone too polite to complain
Patient as a man waiting for his pension
Perplexed as a goldfish doing long division
Picturesque as a village in the Cotswolds
Pounding like a drum
Precise as GPS on a cloudy day
Prepared as someone who reads the manual
Pretty as a picture in an old frame
Proud as a father at his daughter's wedding
Proud as a mother watching her child graduate
Proud as a rooster on a barnyard fence
Puffed up as a balloon at a birthday party
Pumped as an athlete before a final
Quack like a duck
Quiet as a library where everyone knows each other
Quiet as a teenager at a dinner party
Quiet as a widow's kitchen
Radiant as a full moon on a clear night
Rarer than unicorn tears
Read someone like a book
Refined as a medieval ox cart
Reliable as a free VPN
Reserved as an English weather forecast
Restless as a cat in a cage
Rich as a triple chocolate cake
Right as a trivet
Rolling head over heels like a shot rabbit
Rough as a badger's balls
Rough as a witch's knee
Run around like a headless chicken
Run like a top
Run like the wind
Runs like a stabbed rat
Rushed as a last-minute tax return
Scared as a mouse in a snake's cage
Screams like a banshee
Screams like a girl
Screams like a wounded bull
Shaking like a shitting dog
Shattered as a windscreen after a stone strike
Shining like a diamond in a goat's ass
Shy as a deer at the edge of a wood
Shy as a violet in a meadow
Sing like a bird
Sings like an angel
Sink like a stone
Skinny as a rail
Sleep like a baby
Sleep like a log
Slippery as a buttered eel
Slow as a Windows update
Slow as molasses in January
Sly as a fox
Smell like a rose
Smitten as a dog seeing its owner come home
Smoke like a chimney
Smooth as a baby's bottom
Soar like an eagle
Soft as fresh brioche
Solitary as a hermit in a cave
Sour as a pickled lemon
Spinning like a loading screen
Spread like wildfire
Squeal like a stuck pig
Stable as public WiFi
Stale as last Tuesday bread
Stands out like bird shit on a black shoe
Stately as a cathedral organ
Stick out like a sore thumb
Sticks like glue
Stiffer than Arsene Wenger at a primary school
Sting like a bee
Stout-hearted as a sheepdog in a snowstorm
Stubborn as a WiFi-fi router that needs rebooting
Stuffed like a turkey
Stunning as a field of poppies
Sure as eggs is eggs
Swear like a trooper
Sweat like a pig
Sweating like a sinner in church
Sweating like a snowman in a sauna
Sweating like Pavarotti on a treadmill
Sweet as a doughnut dipped in honey
Sweet as a nut
Swim like a fish
Swirling like ink spilled in water
Swollen with pride as a storm cloud
Talk like an apothecary
Taste like lumps of sand
Tastes like chicken
Tedious as watching paint dry
Teeth like a burnt out fuse box
Tempered like steel
Tender as a first kiss
Tense as a goalkeeper in a penalty shootout
Tense as a silence after a bad joke
Thick as fog on the Thames
Thrilled as a fan at a sold-out concert
Throws like a girl
Tighter than an Indian waiter's trousers
Timid as a mouse in a cat show
Tired as a teacher on Friday afternoon
Ugly as a mud fence
Uncomfortable as a vegan at a barbecue
Uninspiring as beige wallpaper
Useful as a dead phone battery
Useful as a sat nav that only knows one route
Useless as a screen door on a submarine
Valiant as a knight on his first quest
Warm as a love letter reread
Watch like a hawk
Welcome as a skunk at a lawn party
Wetter than a spastic's chin
Wetter than an otter's pocket
Wild as a spring wind
Wiped out as a surfer after a long session
Wired as an espresso drinker at noon
Wobbles like a three-legged dog
Work like a dog
Worn out as an old pair of slippers
Yawn-inducing as a tax seminar

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