As tight as a duck’s arseBy Jamie Archer / SimilesBound, Clasped, Close-Fitting, CompactTags: Arse Ass Duck Funny TightMore similes for FunnyStiffer than Arsene Wenger at a primary schoolAs useless as a broken condomLoud as a fart in a libraryRuns like a stabbed ratOpinionated as a food critic at a chip shopWetter than an otter’s pocketSee all "Funny" similes →