As useful as a chocolate fireguardBy Jamie Archer / Leave a Comment / SimilesSarcasticSynonyms: useless, not useful, stupid, worthless, ineffective, impracticalTags: Firefighter Fireguard Funny UsefulMore similes for FunnyAs cold as dog’s noseAs funny as a crutchAs happy as a pig in shitRough as a witch’s kneeWetter than an otter’s pocketAs stylish as a taxman’s trousersSee all "Funny" similes →