As useful as a chocolate fireguardBy Jamie Archer / SimilesSarcasticSynonyms: useless, not useful, stupid, worthless, ineffective, impracticalTags: Firefighter Fireguard Funny UsefulMore similes for FunnyDramatic as a cat knocked off a shelfAs red as a monkey’s arseUgly as a mud fenceAs well-equipped as a pair of monk’s underpantsAs horny as a Roman sandalSweating like a sinner in churchSee all "Funny" similes →