Synonyms: armed, clothed, dressed, furnished, rigged, supplied, appointed, decked, provided
As Cunning as a Rat with a Gold Tooth
Synonyms: devious, smooth, smart, slick, keen, shifty, crafty, sly, slippery, tricky
As Hot as an Oven
Synonyms: warm, burning, blazing, scalding, boiling, heated, sizzling
As Useless as a Broken Condom
Synonyms: not useful, stupid, worthless, ineffective, impractical
As Horny as a Roman Sandal
Synonyms: excited, aroused, hot, randy, steamy, turned on
As Lazy as a Hog
Synonyms: slow, lethargic, apathetic, tired, drowsy, slothful, loafing
Scared as a Mouse in a Snake’s Cage
Synonyms: frightened, scary, afraid, fearful, terrified
As grey as mountain rock
Synonyms: colorless, dull, boring, plain
As Thick as Fleas on a Farm Dog
Synonyms: bulky, dense, heavy, crowded, packed, condensed, crammed, covered, crammed, populous, swarming
As Greasy as a Raccoon that’s been Dipped in Raccoon Grease
Synonyms: slippery, slick, lubricated, slimy, slithery, smooth
Thanks to Conan O’Brien via reader E Bak
As mad as a sleeping bag full of badgers
synonyms: crazy, mental, berserk, batty, crazed, insane, silly, whacky, schitzo
As Dirty as Goodwill Underwear
Synonyms: soiled, gross, brown, filthy, foul, nasty, messy, icky, slimy, raunchy
Lifeless as a Dead Battery
Synonyms: dead, breathless, cold, extinct, expired, stiff, deceased
hat tip: Automoblog.net
Refined as a Medieval Ox Cart
Synonyms: classy, elegant, gracious, nice, plush, polished, posh, snazzy, sophisticated, suave, swanky, tasteful
Meaning: unrefined
As quiet as a library for church mice
Synonyms: muffled, hushed, reserved, mute, peaceful, silent, still
From Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear